It’s 2 am, my first day at college is tomorrow and I refuse to accept adulthood.
go into a starbucks in NYC and say very loudly into your phone “this movie script is stale and trite! we need some new talent, someone with a fresh outlook” and wait
IT’S ALMOST MIDNIGHT AND THERE WAS A KNOCK AT MY DOOR SO I CAUTIOUSLY OPENED THE DOOR THEN TWO DRUNKEN GUYS SHOUTED “SURPRISE” THEN LOOKED AT ME FOR A MOMENT AND WENT “FUCK WE’RE AT THE WRONG HOUSE” AND RAN AWAY DOWN THE STREET OH MY GOD
sleepy boys are the best because they have cute messed up hair and squishy tired cheeks and little droopy eyes and are at their most vulnerable making it easier to kill them
|Oily/Fatty Snacks:||Kale, leafy greens.|
|Soda/Carbonated Drinks:||Actual, literal bubbles.|
|Sweet Tea:||A strong Southern gentleman to take care of you.|
|Ice:||The sweet release of death.|